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A Fat Day - Shlurred Wordsh

October 17th 2006 04:02
One of the new Orble writers, Questionable Content, isn't going to pull any punches - his latest post explains how he treated a girl he met over the internet with little civility.

We could look at him with despicableness, and tsk-tsk-tsk as we turn our backs on his sallow, suken face.

But what separates him from the rest of us? He's told his story - we're all hiding ours.

After all, we are a contemptible species, fixated on beauty and the pursuit of pleasure. We've all done something similar... at least, we all would, if we had the chance to, free from speculation and judgement.


Me, I can't claim innocence... I've stopped calling girls because I wasn't interested. I've not returned calls because of semantics:

"Hi Cibby, I had fun the other night. Well, sorry for not calling you sooner, but I've been really, like really, busy.

(pause)

Well, give me a call sometime...if you wanna..."

Aha!, I thought, I don't want to, so I don't have to return that call.

In retrospect, perhaps I should have disrobed her and licked maple syrup off her thighs... but, like Questionable Content, I was shallow enough to lose all interest in her because she wasn't pretty enough for me.

Mr. Content goes even further:

"She came to the door, and I plastered a smile on. She was having a fat day, alright. As I’ve said before, I’m no prize catch, and back then certainly no gym-honed specimen (ha!). She wasn’t enormous, but chubby would do. Cute face, but that was no saviour at this point.

“I feel so bloated,” she said. “Let’s go somewhere and cool off.”"

My advice for girls that go on first dates: don't mention your bloatedness. The word, 'bloated', brings to the mind the image of rotting whale carcasses or inflated pig bladders.


My advice for guys trolling for dates on the internet: if you're a shallow jackass, do everyone a favour and get a recent full body shot before you sugget hooking up.

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Comment by Questionable Content

October 17th 2006 04:46
Sallow? Sulken? My face has never been...oh fuck it, I guess it has been.

For those wondering what it's like to have the questionable honour of Orble's Post of the Day bestowed upon them, it's quite the thrill.

For starters, I wondered why such a mediocre piece of writing garnered so much attention within its first 21 minutes. Then a friend linked me to this post and the rest, they say, is history.

For the record, that was a good two years ago, and personally, I've changed a bit since then.

I'm now taller.

And who's a jackass? Only my grandmother calls me that.

Comment by Cibbuano

October 17th 2006 05:07
heh, I didn't think you'd find it so fast...

It'd be easy to link to the most popular posts on the Post of the Day, but I try and spread the love around... I want to introduce some of the newer bloggers to the Orble community.. hopefully, it'll give you a little traffic!


Comment by Sisi

October 17th 2006 09:59
haha yeh i remember back in the days of few Orble blogs and plentiful appearances on Orble Post of the Day it was the same story for me too!

almost everyone feels the need to date someone they're attracted to physically, that's human nature!

Comment by Cibbuano

October 17th 2006 22:49
are you the exception Sisi? I vaguely remember you posting something about not being attracted to handsome guys...?



Comment by Sisi

October 17th 2006 23:39
hmmm i guess i'm attracted initially on purely physical grounds, but some (and i stress the some) handsome men can be such pricks that it just totally puts me off...i dunno...i don't think i'd date someone who repulses me, but i'm not really repulsed by many guys...plus i've been told i have a very different idea of what 'handsome' is...i somehow always manage to work their personalities into my judgment of their looks...

Comment by Cibbuano

October 18th 2006 01:13
I think everyone has a 'type' that they go crazy for - maybe you haven't found yours, yet...

Comment by Lily

October 20th 2006 09:34
aw you're terrible muriel....

~Lily

Comment by Questionable Content

October 20th 2006 12:48
That I am. Want to go on a date with me sometime Lily? You might be surprised!

Comment by Lily

October 20th 2006 16:04
where would we go, for food? .. yeah i like food as well as a decent rye brew, or 12 nahh i jest, i used to be so good at it.. oops tmi, mayhaps
now what if i was to be a bit thick?
around the middle (just learnt that expression recently); would that be ok? would i pass? lol
I could have gappy teeth for all you kow.. don't worry, i'm teasing and not in the flirty way... just the i've already been drinking kinda way sorta lol

~Lily

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